will you love me tomorrow?

Tomorrow I will begin my fourth week of teaching. Tomorrow will also mark the day that I go back to school (perhaps for the last time? Quite possibly... although I've been known to make that remark before). Tomorrow I will call the dentist and discuss the dreaded hateful root canal (could there possibly two more horrifying words in the English language? Well. Obviously, yes. But as for tomorrow, those are it). Tomorrow I will deal with the excuses of my students, get gas, and lug my computer around with me. Tomorrow I will be gone from the early hours of the morning until the later hours of the night (damn you evening classes). Tomorrow I will see classmates who I have missed over the long (and yet not long enough) winter break.

But as for today, I am quietly sitting perched upon my bed, laptop in lap (oh how appropriate), textbooks and papers strewn out before me. Planning lessons, attempting to grade, trying not to freak out. Trying, trying, trying.

I wrote this the other day

So I survived my first semester. However, I barely survived the last week of it, in which I hit a car backing out of my driveway(!) got ragingly sick for a day and a half, experienced extreme trauma at the hands of Comcast, and spent far too many hours in the Richmond train station.

But now I'm back in my beloved Davis, attempting to create exciting and exhilarating lesson plans for my students. I'm at one of my favorite coffee shops; Mishkas, home of good coffee, delicious pastries, and free internet. It is also the home of various law and grad students. I am currently sitting next to two law students (who I know are law students because they keep talking about contracts and other law-related terms that I am now familiar with after living with and dating law students for the past year... albeit not all at the same time. I'm a little disturbed by how much terminology I now know about the law. Who ever would have thought?). It's absolutely lovely being back in Davis. Every time I visit, I am filled with wonderful memories of the years I spent here.

Definitely looking forward to a few more days in town (the company doesn't hurt, either).

Can someone please tell me why

... Rhiana's song "SOS" is playing incessantly in my head?

That'd be great, thanks.

some random thoughts

So I'm supposed to write five random things about myself. (if you can't follow through in the blog-o-sphere, where can you?) So here goes.

1. I think I just made up that word, blog-o-sphere. And if not, too bad. I'm claiming it. It's mine.

2. In order to procrastinate today, I cleaned my bathroom. I bought rubber gloves for the event (because, let's face it, I live with a boy. And such precautions are necessary). It now sparkles and smells clean.

3. I'm supposed to bring a delicious food item for the potluck in my class tonight. I have no idea what to bring, no desire to make anything, and no money to buy anything more than a bag of chips. *heavy sigh*

4. I bought a really cute dress the other day. Now I own three dresses that I have never worn. Three! Clearly, people need to start inviting me to places where I'm supposed to wear a dress.

5. My last first semester (hopefully) will be over this Monday. All I have left to turn in is a paper on my theories of culturally sensitive pedagogy and two semester plans. My semester plans are looking good (so good in fact, that I color coded my units and important days). My paper however? Not so much. But that's what the weekend is for, procrastinating both days only to write in a frenzy Sunday night.

6. (I like to over-achieve when it comes to random lists) It's my birthday on Saturday. As with every year, I am looking forward to it, yet hoping that it doesn't suck (I don't have the best track record with birthdays... to date, I've experienced extreme windstorms which caused all the power to go out and all the water pipes to break, been forgotten, and had food poisoning... albeit all in different years. So I tend to approach the day with some hesitancy). However, this year we are having a game night/potluck. So that should be fun. And as long as there aren't any extreme storms or rancid food, I should be just fine.

Three weeks is just too long

This semester should be over now. I'm tired of stressing about papers and projects and jumping through ridiculous hoops and having nightmares (yes, that is plural) about presentations.

Why, oh why did I think it would be fun to go back to school?

Apparently this post is all about food

I am normally a person who enjoys the holidays. I love people getting together, eating lots of food, sharing conversations, eating food, making memories, consuming food... well, you get the idea. But I have to admit, Thanksgiving, while normally one of my favorite of holidays (heavy on the food, not so much on the soulless commercialism that infuses Christmas and other holidays*), has been giving me some issues as of late. And I hate that. I hate that horribly illogical thoughts that I know have no basis in reality are seeping into my brain. Silly events of the past are rearing their ugly heads and I want it to stop. Out out, damn thoughts!

Anyhow, tomorrow I will be heading out to my second Thanksgiving this year (and possibly my third the day after? My word, but I am a glutton this year). I flew down to my parents last week, after a brief layover in Claremont. It was a wonderful few days, filled with good people, and good food (there is definitly a theme afoot). I came back to the city yesterday, ostensibly to do some work and visit my school site. And, well I visited my school site, so that's something at least. And tomorrow, I will be gone again. Off to eat some more. And that's the last time that I'll mention food in this post. (I hope)


*unless, of course you think about the history of the holiday, which is basically a horrible reminder of all the wrongs the US government perpetrated against the indigenous peoples of this continent... However, I choose to focus on the food.

In the epic words of Ice Cube

"Today was a good day."

And it was!

I began the day with a stomach full of knots and a serious case of the nerves. Why, you might wonder? I taught my class for the first time. Ever. And it was scary! But good! I gave a lesson on art movements in the nineteenth century, and while it wasn't the most exciting lesson ever created, I think most of the kids were engaged and somewhat interested in the lesson. I had them look at images of art, and we talked about what they saw in each, and then I led a guided note-taking activity. I actually had a few minutes at the end of class, so I asked if the kids had any questions. One asked if I was nervous. I replied, "are you kidding? I'm still nervous." At this point the class all told me that I had done good, and then they all clapped.

It was awesome.

I know, I know. I'm a total cheeseball, but still.

Later, I had my C&I course (Curriculum and Instruction... one of the few classes that I don't feel is pointless). We spent the first part of class at an exhibit on Ancient Rome in the Humanities Building, where we all ate yummy (yes, in my tummy) food, and drank free wine. My prof and I had a bonding moment about this profession, which was nice. It was also nice just talk with my classmates, and get to hang out a bit. Later, a few of us (prof included) got into a great discussion about inequity in education, and how we need to radicalize our students. Now I'm all fired up.

So that was the day, nervous and scary and great. And now I'm exhausted. So I'm going to finish preparing my lesson plans for tomorrow and then go to bed (yay).

interesting

Thanks to Liz, I now know that I am this nerdy (although, this was mostly in terms of science-nerdiness... I think if it were academic-nerdiness test, I would score a lot higher)

Okay, back to paper writing. When will it end?!

oh and?

Kid Rock currently has the number one album in America? I am both confused and extremely concerned about my country.

strangely familiar... but different

I've been here before, haven't I?

Sitting on my bed, laptop on my (well) lap, books and papers spread out around me, the paper I'm writing nowhere near completion. The sun is shining outside. I know this because my window is open, allowing the crisp cool autumn breeze in, and I can see nothing but blue blue sky out above me.

And yet, I'm in my room. Struggling to write in a clear, cohesive manner that does justice to my thoughts and ideas. And mostly failing. As usual.

Although things are different. The blue sky is courtesy of Northern, not Southern California, and instead of at least writing about something that I'm moderately interested in, I'm now forced to write about education. And my philosophy of such.

I just want to teach students about history. And how wonderful it is. And how the past is still present today in strange and amazing ways.

That's all. Fin.

this is getting ridiculous.

Unbelievably unbearably ridiculous.

I have two assignments due tomorrow, and both are, well, see above. I'm having trouble starting them, continuing them, and finishing either of them seems to be mostly a distant dream (well first I have to actually accomplish the other two before I can even start thinking about the third). Essentially, this is another example of the ridiculousness of this program, and my extreme irritation with it all.

Plus, my bangs are really annoying me.

things I love

Radiohead and their new album. It's wonderful and it makes me happy.

The Teachers for Social Justice Conference I went to this past Saturday. Very inspiring and energizing. It basically reinforced my desire to be in this profession and hopefully do good things in it. The keynote speakers were amazing, and the workshops I went to had a lot of wonderful practical activities that I can see myself employing in the classroom. This has been one of the few times since I've started this semester that I feel really excited about everything (not that I'm not always excited, it's just the drudgery of the semester usually seems to overwhelm and take away any initial excitement that I would normally feel).

The music selection in "Chuck" No, seriously. The Shins, Spoon, Grizzly Bear... It's actually pretty impressive.

Oh, also Oktoberfest apparently. I went yesterday, and had a randomly awesome time. Drank a lot of beer, danced (horribly) to German music, and did I mention the beer drinking? On a related note, I also love living in this city. There is always something going on. It's a great location for someone who loves having random adventures as this city seems to thrive on it.

As for things I'm not so excited about... the reading that I have to do right now is probably pretty high on that list. Ugh.

a conundrum

(Which, by the way, is a fun word say)

So the router in my house apparently doesn't like my computer. Or maybe my computer doesn't like th router. Either way, I can no longer access the sweet sweet wireless internet in my house. Which means I have to bring my compute rout into the living room and manually plug my ethernet cord into the router. In the grand scheme of things, this really isn't that big of a deal. I still have internet, I just have to work for it a little more. But still I'm annoyed. It's not really a conundrum (go on, say it out loud, it's fun!), aside from the fact that I either have my computer plugged in to the internet, but running on batteries, or I have the power cord plugged in, but no internet. And, yes, I realize that I can bring the power cord out with me to the living room... but its the principle damnit. It's the principle.

transportation thoughts

Every morning when I arrive at school, I get off the Muni Light rail, walk off the platform, and across the street to campus... accompanied by a crossing guard.
Our crossing guard technically is dressed in fluorescent yellow. But you get the idea. Now my campus is for college students. There are no children anywhere. And yet we need help crossing the street? Am I the only person who is confused by this?

Speaking of public transportation, it's one thing to ride the bus and have your bus driver freak out (see myspace blog). It's another to never have your bus show up! And then you have to take a different line, which doesn't really come anywhere near your house, and then you have to hike up your hill for what seems like forever, until you finally get home huffing and puffing. That's entirely different.

Now I'm off to pack for a wonderful weekend (yay!)

here's some friendly advice

When in the restroom in the school library, always turn the water on slowly. Otherwise, you might turn the water on, have blast it out of the faucet like the hounds of hell were after it, and subsequently ricochet off your hands all over the front of your pants.

And while we're on the subject of wet pants, it would also be advisable to check the wetness of the lawn before you sit fully down on it. Because when you lower your person to the grass without checking it first (even though it's well into the afternoon, and the sun should have dried off any extra residue at that late hour), sometimes you might totally soak your seat. And sometimes you might soak your seat so fully that it doesn't dry out during a three hour (slightly uncomfortable) seminar, in which you might have to stand in front of the class and act out a skit.

Not that I would know personally for any reason.

I'm just saying.

(now how's that for a first post after many months?)

wow

Tomorrow is my last day of work at the school. Coincidentally, it's also my last day of working legally in Oregon. As of 2:45pm, I will no longer be gainfully employed by the Springfield School district... wow. It's really strange and surreal to think of this year as ending.

More on all of this later. (perhaps when I've actually processed it all?)

ranting... with pictures!

Eh, its Tueaday night. Tuesdays, are by far the least exciting day and night of the week. Especially when you've been studying US governement for the better part of the evening (and by better part of the evening, I mean during the commercial breaks... although, to be fair I did go to Starbucks* and studied for some time... until I could no longer stand the obnoxious smokers/really annoying loud girls) My desire to know about the Framers' intent when drafting the Articles of the Constitution can be summed up in one word. No. As in, no, I do not want to know this information. More importantly, no, I do not want be tested on this information. No, I do not want my future teaching career to depend on the tests that I am taking next weekend. And don't even get me started on my loathing of economics (which, by this point in time is legendary).

Anyway.

While my weekdays have left soemthing to be desired (see rant on Tuesday), my weekends have been pretty kick ass. Last weekend, I had many random adventures... including a trip to the coast- finally, I have seen and experiences the Oregon coast! And I can definitively and authoratativily say that it is truly beautiful!

The water wasn't as bad as I was expecting!

Jolene and I saw this Viking statue and had to stop to take pictures with him. Wouldn't you?

Aren't my mad sand castle building skills amazing?


I took this picture on the drive back.


Random adventures are by far the best. Jolene and I had a blast finding all sorts of trouble to get into. It really made me appreciate my time in Oregon. And this weekend is my 82nd time visiting California this year, so I know interesting and exciting times shall be had. And it will probably be random. And I'll take pictures.

Now, all I need to do is get through the next few days (and somehow make myself actually learn some econ.... ugh).



*It was the only coffee shop that I could find that had both free parking nearby and a patio so I could sit in the lovely sunshine. That's my reasoning. Go with it.

what would we be without wishful thinking

Last night I saw a hardcore band cover "My Sharona." Later, the main band set up a flora and fauna scene on the stage, complete with stuffed animals and proceeded to play with man dressed as an egg on stage. The band utilized music from Nintendo games in their music and the egg-man (coo coo ka choo!) played the triangle. It was quite possibly one of the strangest concerts I have ever been to.

And perhaps the reason for the equally strange dreams I had last night. I don’t remember much, but at one point Sylar (from "Heroes"*) was one of my new students. Which probably says something about how my subconscious feels about my students. I'm not too surprised, however. This week has been one of the most intense that I've had at this job. Nothing major has happened, just a lot of me feeling totally insufficient and incapable of being an authority figure. I hate that feeling. And this job seems to reinforce it at times in spades. I don't know. I can't expect the students to feel compassion for me, and how their actions and words affect me, but still, I want them to be aware. Its too much to ask though. If I can get them to take some responsibility for their actions, that's sometimes enough. This is by far the most challenging job that I've ever had. And that feels like the pithiest (is that even a word?) statement ever. Sad, but true.

Anyhow. Happy thoughts. For every time I feel totally unprepared, insufficient, etc., there's twice as many times when I'm speechless because one of my students has said or done something completely random and unexpected. Sometimes its asking me if I like porn or some other extremely inappropriate question. Other times its answering all my questions in a robot voice (for the entire day!) or randomly squawking in the middle of a lesson. I feel like I’ve reached a certain comfort level with them, where they’re comfortable around me. So that’s good.

Other good things? Its Thursday. Its a beautiful day. Good music is playing on my computer (Wilco, yay!). I am totally alone in the classroom (which means I can play said music loud). The weekend is almost here! And another show! (this time its Minus the Bear and Chin Up Chin Up- two very good bands)

Okay, the students will be here soon. Maybe I should get my act together, as who knows what will happen in class today…



*Oh, and Heroes? A truly excellent show. Definitely recommended.

today was not meant to be

I woke up at 6:30, completely disoriented and confused about what day it was (this is the second day in a row that I've woken up and have had no idea when and where I was...). After a harried shower and dressing, I proceeded downstairs to gather foodstuffs for the day and make the all too essential coffee. And that's what I was thinking about- sweet sweet caffienne- when my ankle buckled and I fell down the stairs. Apparently I fell so hard that I woke my roommate up, who rushed out of her room, a concerned and worried expression etched upon her face. I assured her that I was fine and went about making the coffee.

And that's how my morning has been thus far.

At least its Friday (I think).

*sigh*

Here are some random Sunday sentences

Alliteration is such fun!

My spelling has become atrocious. I'm not even certain if that's the correct spelling. But I'm still going to use it. I am defiant this Sunday morning.

Here's my conundrum: My ipod died. It was swift, sudden, and took us all by surprise. I'm still reeling from the loss in my life. And yet, this is a familiar feeling, as this was my third ipod to die on me. (Seriously, wtf? what am I doing to these poor pieces of plastic and computer hardware to make them all die? Am I to be known as the scary ipod killer, she who brings ipod death to all around her?) Anyhow I am torn: I crave another ipod, and at the same time I'm repulsed by such a need. This must be how heroin addicts feel. I hate the thing I want. I hate the fact that I want it. And yet, I've been scoping online new ipods all morning.

Spring break will officially come to an end in less than 24 hours. This time tomorrow, I will again be with the children, telling them to stop doing lord knows what (but I'm sure it will probably be something bad and/or amusing). I am looking forward to going back, for all that its a draining, wrenching job, I do like it (should I be worried?)

I'm flying back to California on Thursday. Apparently, I like to go every few weeks now, which is awesome. Unless you're my bank account, who seems to disagree. Anyhow, I will once again be interviewing for yet another credential program (I make this seem so much more intense than it really is; this is actually my second interview of two... so really, I need to calm down). I am so ready for all this to be over! I want to be accepted. No more applications, interviews, tests, fingerprinting, driving, flying... on an on. I've gone to two well respected universities, applied to many more, applied for international study and an internship program, applied for numerous jobs... and yet all of those application processes together do not add up to pain and trauma of applying to these two credential programs. Soon, it'll be over, right?