martedì, febbraio 06, 2007

bitch bitch bitch! (thats what I do)

My application to San Fransisco State in due in 9 days. It's in complete shambles. My personal statement isn't done, I have no letters of rec (admittedly, they are en route to me, I mean I have people writing them, I'm just waiting for them to magically appear), I haven't actually filled out the application. I haven't taken the requisite tests. I'm not even sure if I meet all the qualifications. And its almost too late to do anything drastic.

In short, I am freaking out. Big time.

But am I doing anything about this? Of course not. I'm writing a silly, trite blog about all the things I should be doing.

I hate myself for doing this. And I do this for everything. I am absolutely incapable of not procrastinating. Ugh. Ugh, I say!

Today in school a student told me that no one would want to see naked pictures of me. (I'm kind of okay with this however.) He used the same tone of voice that he used earlier in the day when he told me I had fish breath and that he wished I would be run over by a car. One of the kids who has given me nothing but trouble (ie yesterday he inadverdently hit me with a peach) was actually really good today. When I left, he told me to drive sober.

I know I'm not doing these kids justice when I write about them like this; they're so much more multifaceted than I probably give them credit for. In all honestly, so much happens in the four hours that I'm there, that oftentimes I'm on sensory overload. I always feel like I'm making them out to be one-dimensional, and they're not. They're not just bad kids. They're at this really weird stage in life, where they're grown up, but not. One day, a few of them were talking (instead of doing they're their science work, of course) and one said something about marijuana... and then in the next heartbeat immediately went toSponge Bob Squarepants. I think only this kids would seamlessly transition from something so adult (and illegal) to something so childish, and not see any continuity problems. Middle school is a tough enough age (Oh, how I remember those horrible years), and for these kids its so much weirder. Most of the time, I'm just struggling to find the right words to say to them. Its hard.

Oh, and half the letters on my laptop are not working. So that's fun.