need a book?

So I literally have a small walkway carved out in my room which leads from my bed to the door. The rest of my floor space is covered with books, papers, more books, sometimes my computer, oh yeah, and some books.

Apparently in the madness that was writing a thesis, I forgot that I also had two seminar papers due. Oh yay.

Sadly, I have very little in the way of exciting things to report from my life. I've seen more of my friends in the library than out of it. Its like the new social scene in Claremont. All the cool kids are there. Seriously, though. I actually had to leave the other day because I was running into too many friends and wasn't getting any work done. Who ever said grad school isn't cool?

Oh, but this afternoon, I'm going to Indio (the poor man's Palm Springs) to go riding.. and then tomorrow the Coachella music festival! Which, yes, is exciting!

So that's about it for the day. Back to writing about fascism.

"I'm not dead yet! I'm feeling much better!"

Yes, I know, I've been excessivly lame about writing lately. My theory is that my thesis took all my words- I literally used them all up. But its coming to a close- think good thoughts that I'll finish my revisions this week and it will be accepted and I'll turn it in and turn in my books and not think about women and art and the fin-de-siecle, except to reminisce about those crazy months where I went a little insane writing and editing and writitng, oh my.

As you can tell, I'm still a little loopy. I have about three weeks left of grad school, which is swiftly becoming a mightily fearful entity in my mind. But also an exciting one. This summer should be interesting (although also sad, as I'll be leaving my Claremont friends and life behind). Of course first I have to finish my course work (yes, I still have two more papers to write, ugh!), so we'll see how that goes.

But I promise I'm going to be better about writing, because lord knows, my life is still full of randomness and strange occurances. :)

walden: claremont style

So I just had a random adventure in Claremont, which resulted in discovering that one of my friends is currently living on campus in a tent on four twin mattresses.

Not quite what I was expecting from my Wednesday night.

Initially the night was to contain some coffee and female bonding/bitching about roommates, boys, life in general. But then the Starbucks* closed early, so we decided to relocate to the humanities house. After a discussion of on campus housing, we decided to investigate. Which brought us to the aforementioned tent dweller.

Oh grad school-these are the memories I'll cherish.

*I know, I know. But I had no choice. I didn't order anything, and the only other coffee shop that's open at night in Claremont is where male escorts** apparently hang out.

**how do I know this? I was studying there over the weekend, and heard quite an interesting discussion about the plights and perils of such a lifestyle from an actual male escort. I only wish I made that up.

boys and turtles and other things I don't understand

I just unexpectedly spent the past 2.5 hours in the library. I was going to get some more (more?! am I serious?! sadly, yes) books for my thesis (almost done with the rough draft! I'm needing the free printing that I can only get from the CMC-undergrad campus where I illegally print from- computer lab, which sadly is closed until Monday... of course if I was a CMC student, I would be able to use my id card, but alas, I'm a poor cheating grad student, who has to wait until the doors are open to everyone... wow, can we say off topic?)

So anyway, I was getting books for my thesis, when the urge to read came over me, and that's what I've been doing for the past few hours. Hence the spasticness, and the lack of academic productivity at the moment.

This weekend, I'm taking care of my friend Chris' turtle. The same turtle that I took home with me for Christmas, and the same turtle that my mother continues to ask about. However, for this weekend, Chris gave me a key to his house, so I head over twice a day for turtle ministrations. Last night, I went over around 11:30 (after having delicious home-made chocolate mousse with raspberries at Emily's house, so good!) expecting to find a house empty of people (his roommates were to be out of town/living at his girlfriend's respectively). I was slightly confused when I saw all the lights on, but the door as locked, so I made my way in thinking that boys have no conception of energy conservation.

No, actually the roommate who is never there (I've seen him once in the entire I've known Chris/hung out at his house) was in the backroom. Which isn't that weird, no. What was weird was that he didn't even bat an eye or ask what I was doing in his house, or how I got in (remember the locked door?). I hastily explained that I was there to take care of the turtle, his response? "Oh, is Chris gone?" Now I know guys as a rule are not so big on the telling roommates spatial information, but on top of the non-plussed attitude to my appearing in his house, the entire exchange was a little strange.

I mean, if someone who I didn't know showed up inside my locked house in the middle of the night, I would at least wonder how they got in.

Earlier that day, I went to Jiffy Lube to get my car's oil changed, etc etc. As I was standing up at the counter, I left my bookbag in my chair. When I turned around to sit back down, I found a young man sitting in my chair, smooshed up against my bag. Oh, and yes, there were other empty (completely without bags or other assorted items in them) chairs in the room. Again, that's a little strange.

spring break part 1

So maybe its the fact that it's technically Spring Break and I have yet to leave Claremont.

Maybe its this thesis that is slowly draining me of my sanity (but I'm over half way done with the rough draft, so that's something, right?!).

Maybe I'm just tired of life as the status quo.

-wow, could I be more dramatic right now?-

Anyhow, I apparently decided to chop off my hair. Again. It's not Natalie Portman short, but its short enough that I can't pull it into a ponytail. This, for me, is a very big deal. My roommate says it makes me look sophisticated. I'm not sure I'm sophisticated enough to look sophisticated. *sigh* I'm thinking that this is just some weird type of buyer's remorse* coupled with sleep deprivation which leads to extreme tiredness, and soon I'll grow to love this look. It is really cute. I'm just not sure it's me. But that's partly what life is about, right?

But really, that's not even what I intended to write about tonight. I was going to write about the random (mis)adventures I've been having as of late. As I said, Spring Break officially began last Thursday (with my last day of class, woo hoo!) and while I still technically had work and thesis writing, and presentation preparing, I was ready to celebrate. It just so happened to be Tara's birthday that night (well, okay, it was her birthday that entire day, if you want to get technical), so we planned a girl's night accordingly. And yes, there are pictures.

The seven of us foxy ladies got gussied up (seriously, how hot are these women?) and started the nigh off right: with cake at Tina's.

First we went to a tapa's bar in Pasadena. It was a pretty chill place, with good 80s songs being played. The bar also played really random Latin-esque music videos (that were in no way related to the music being played) on large screens in the main room. This provided a great amount of entertainment, as we watched women clad in thigh-high white boots (and other assorted, yet equally disturbing outfits) and matching shorts dance across the desert and other exact locales. Briita also really liked rocking out. We all also liked the Sangria.



Apparently everytime we go to Pasadena we have to go to bar where there's a mechanical bull. And apparently everytime we go, I have to ride it. I'm thinking here "please god, don't look like a fool, stay on." Unbeknownst to me, Kari had pointed out me, Tara and Elaine to the bull controller guy (there has got to be a term for that, any suggestions?) as exeperienced riders and that he shouldn't go easy on us. Which he didn't. But we still prevailed. Why? Because we're awesome. (I even got strangers clapping for me when I was done with my second ride, heh)









We are totally sober here. Shut up.











We ended to night at Denny's (because that's where classy girls like us go), where after nearly getting into a fight with a fascist and telling the infamous panther knock knock joke, we decided to call the evening quits. All in a all, a sucessful birthday.

So that was Tara's birthday. As you can tell, we had a pretty good time. Friday was spent chilling out, something I definitely recommend! Tara and I studied at Borders (read gossip magazines) for a bit and then decided to rent a movie. Which was an adventure, as I'm sure the guys who worked there must have thought we were drunk or stoned, or some combination of the two. Then again, we giggled throughout the store, and could barely contain ourselves as we paid. In our defense, if someone told you that you had a remaining balance of $1.33, you would think you has $1.33 left too, right?

Friday night was spent consuming an obscene amount of meat, as my work had a Texan bbq- which thanks to JR's kick ass smoking skills was awesome! After learning about the wonders of fish eye soup, meteor hunting and why you can't buy bear on ebay (I am not making this up, I work with people who have extremely strange interests), I headed out to everyone's favorite bar (okay, the only bar in Claremont) for Emily's "Emily Quit Her Job Party." Lots of random people, lots of silliness ensued. Sadly no hardcore reggae covers, but there was a pretty decent Irish band playing, so that was fun.

The weekend madness continued with a bbq (yes, more food!) at Elaine's on Saturday. The best part was when Elaine called me and asked if I would break into her house to let people in, as she wasn't going to be back in time for her own bbq! Being the good person, I am, I obliged. Good times spent in her backyard with a flashlight. I'm still somewhat surprised her neighbors didn't call the cops on me. And after a while, she finally showed up. Texan dancing (yeah, I have no idea why my weekend was so Texan-tastic either) in the living room fought against gangsta rap in the kitchen. Nothing says graduate school like Dr. Dre's The Chronic. I mean really.

So that's been my Spring so far: food, thesis writing, Texan related activities, hair cutting, bull riding, and now blogging. It's definitely had its moments.

*which is weird, because I didn't even buy anything- Elaine cut my hair for free, and despite my sleep-deprevived weirdness, I can honestly say she did a kick ass job, and I got salad to boot!

...

I hate this thesis.

that's all.

the greatest sentence ever written

And here's some proof that my insanity is not entirely my fault.

This is my new favorite sentence (its from Fasisct Modernism by Andrew Hewitt; a book I'm reading for class this week):

"It is only a decadent decadence that could possibly realize itself in practice--and yet, as a decadent decadence within the very category of the decadent itself, such a decadent decadence might indeed be the purest form of decadence."

good night!

It's raining

And that's all I will say about that.

My time in Claremont is swiftly coming to a close. Its infiltrating daily thoughts, conversations, dreams. That and my thesis are pretty much all I can think about. And they are inextricably linked, as once I finish one, I must immediately start on the other.

The restless traveler in me wants to run away to Europe, with my savings* cashed out, and all my possessions on my back, as I pick up odd jobs and bum around.

The polo-player in me wants to get a job as a groom and ride and travel on the circuit and be with the horses.

The responsible, extremely freaked out, soon-to-be-graduate with many debts and bills in me knows I should get a job- one which will lead to a career (of some sort) so I can payback said debts and be an active member of society.

Its the rain. It makes me maudlin and think too much.


*savings, hah! don't tell my parents, but I already cashed out this account during last year's holiday season.

don't try to hide your jealousy

So technically I should be studying/preparing for my class in 40 minutes. But as I have no idea whats expected of me in this class and no desire to read anymore, I'm going to instead write about how I fell out of my chair today.

Yes, you read that correctly. Today, at work I fell out of my chair. I've reached new levels of gracelessness.

So this is what happened. I was sitting in a rather large desk chair (massive, like a throne on wheels), which was so huge it prevented me from being able sit fully back into the seat. Instead I had to perch on the edge in order to reach the desk. Below the chair was carpet with one of those plastic mat things, so as to enable rolling of the chair. At one point, I attempted to roll the chair closer to my desk, and that's when it happened.

The roller of the chair got caught at the edge of the platic mat thing, and as I was sitting on the edge of the seat, my forward momentum caused the chair not to move, but instead to tip. And out I spilled onto the floor, with the chair falling over me.

And that is why I am officially the coolest person I know.

Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping

I am never donating blood on a college campus again.

For the past day and a half, I've felt like I've had a permanent hangover, minus the fun drinking before. And all I have to show for it are track-like marks on my arm.

No officer, I swear, I don't even know where to get smack.

Okay, enough drug talk. This weekened, I did not go to the beach, lay out in the park, or do much in the way of excitement. Unless you count reading hundreds of pages (yes, thats right, hundreds) about fascism, feminism and the like. Which, in a very sad way, I kind of do.

It actually rained in Claremont over the weekend, complete with cold cold temperatures and the need for fires in fireplaces and scarves on necks. It almost felt like a real winter. Almost. On Sunday, the rain cleared, and the sky and mountains were unbelievable. I attempted to get in touch with my artistic side:

The mountains with clouds


The sky was so beautiful as the sun was setting, so here's a blurry shot.


Sky with trees and power lines. Its so postmodern.


I couldn't do justice to how amazing the mountains looked.


This was taken in my backyard.

So that was probably the most exciting part of my weekend. I also saw an reggae band that covered "I just died in tyour arms tonight" and Pearl Jam's "Daughter." Yeah, I didn't know those songs could be done as reggae either. But the dancing frat guys and their assorted lady friends definitly enjoyed the versions being put out. If nothing else, the night provided much entertainment in the area of people watching. Oh, I was also told that I have a crew. I'm not sure how, or why, but there you have it. I imagine us as a gang, only instead of carrying guns and knives we pack highlighters and pens, and instead of rumbles, we have book clubs. Applications are now being accepted.

Okay, enough silliness. I need to go read and sleep. Hopefully in that order.

tagging on a monday

Four jobs I've had:
1. after-school tutor
2. pizza maker
3. office assistant
4. barn manager

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. American Beauty
2. Lord of the Rings
3. Napoleon Dynamite
4. Shakespeare in Love

Four places I've lived:
1. Moorpark, CA
2. Davis, CA
3. Washington, D.C.
4. Perugia, Italy

Four TV shows I love:
1. Jeopardy
2. the Daily Show
3. Colbert Report
4. Project Runway

Four places I've vacationed:
1. Madrid
2. Chicago
3. Lichenstein (not so much a vacation as a night spent sleeping in the bus station)
4. NYC

Four sites I visit daily:
1. yahoo
2. myspace (i'm totally addicted, I admit it)
3. cgumail
4. museum websites (looking for jobs)

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. the beach
2. London
3. Florence
4. The Met (yeah, that sounds good Liz, lets go!)

Four bloggers I am tagging:
1. Nous Sommes Foutus
2. Michele, the godless Degenerate
all my other blogger friends have been tagged

tan lines!

Yes, its February.

But its February in Southern California. So that means I went to the beach yesterday and laid out in the sunshine. And got some color! Of course as I'm paler than the moon, so it would be more correct to say that I got less pale than that I actually got color. But hey, you work with what you have, right? The point is, that despite the utter unnaturalness of this warm weather (and to my friends in much colder climes, don't hate me! I actually think its wrong for it to be this warm, and it probably says bad things about the state of our environment, and in all honesty I would not mind some actual winter-eqsue weather, as I have some very cute scarves and jackets...) I went to the beach! And got some color!

On a completely different note, our vice-president shot a man on Saturday just to watch him die. (and now the CIA is probably going to be after me, so if you here any clicking noises when you talk to me on the phone, you now know why) Okay, so actually it was while he was quail-hunting, and *technically* an accident, but I'm just sayin'. Coincidence? You make the call.*

*please, if there are any government employees, etc reading this**, please don't send the vice-president to my house with a shotgun.

**why there would be government employees reading this blog, I have no idea.

I lied

I'm writing a letter to our members asking for more money. In one sentence I used contributions twice, and contribute once.

I need new words.

*sigh*

Have you ever had one of those days when you're looking really cute, and your hair is actually behaving yourself, but you don't see anyone? And it's all wasted.

That's been my day.

My hair right now? It's awesome. Doing everything its supposed to. Unbelievably cute. And I never say that.

(and I know, I know that it shouldn't matter, and what's really important is that I noticed... but I notice myself all the time, isn't it someone else's turn?)

hence the *sigh*

(I promise that my next self-deprecating post will be funnier)

Shoot the Piano Player

Last night I had a dream about Kevin Bacon's brother. He was wearing a Member's Only jacket.

It's been a weird week.

I heart Jon Stewart

Oh man, I just watched the best Daily Show tonight. My love of Jon Stewart grows by leaps and bounds. It almost makes my headache less painfully annoying. Almost. *sigh*

So last night* my bed broke. Yes, that's right- it broke. And no, not for any exciting reasons. Although I do blame my friend Lawrence for the breakage. But that's because he's the one who put my crappy bedframe together. I've had this bed since my sophomore year of college, and pretty much since day one, I've cursed said bed frame. Because its one of those really crappy metal ones that somehow magically fit together in some fashion that I have never been able to figure out. Everyonce in a while, the frame comes apart and there is bed breakage. Which is really fun to be woken up in the middle of the night by suddenly slanting headfirst towards the floor. Of course I can think of better ways to be woken up in the middle of the night.

I found a new coffee shop tonight. Its in a strip mall, next to a Vons and a Gamestop. But its totally local, with free wireless internet, and live music on the weekends. And they played the best music tonight. That's pretty much what sold me. While I was there I heard; Sufjan Stevens, Nina Simone, Elliot Smith, Radiohead, Death Cab for Cutie, some random covers, and lots of other good stuff. I am completely for any place that follows Sufjan Stevens with Nina Simone. That speaks well, eh?

Okay, the headache is taking its toll. Tomorrow is a long day.

*actually the bed breaking happened last week, but we live in a postmodern society where time is arbitrary, so go with it, okay?

miss me?

aaannndddd i'm back!

Currently, I'm working on about three hours of sleep (the oh so lovely consequence of tasty beverages + bedtime at 3:30 + waking up for some godforsaken reason at 6:30), and am feeling rather giddy and awake. Granted, this feeling could pass at any time, so let's take advantage, shall we?

Where have I been for the past month, you might be wondering? Mostly in Claremont, with some adventures in Northern California and Moorpark thrown in. A short list of my activities:

•Went up north the day after my birthday. Drove up with Tara, spent many good hours in the car, listening to our varied collection of tapes and generally being the silly people we are. She actually took me to the oh-so-lovely train station in Fremont (which sadly, was not the sketchiest train station I had the luck to visit up north- more on that later), where I hopped on the Capitol Corridor, and hopped off in Davis and literally into the waiting arms of Paige and Patty. Who, I might add, also met me with chocolate, cheese and crackers. Do my friends know me, or what?

• The rest of my time in Davis was spent with old roommates and friends, and many silly adventures were undertaken. My favorite memory, however, was of introducing Speed Scrabble to my friends and of all the subsequent silliness which followed.

• As vacations go, this one was too short, and before I knew it, I was back on my way down south, and back to Claremont. Spent a few days there, worked a bit, read and slept a lot.

• The holidays were spent at my parent’s house in the ever-exciting Moorpark. Christmas was a family affair complete with yummy food, presents, menorah lighting (it was also the first night of Chanukah, for my gentile friends), movie watching, and of course my father beating down the inflatable Santa that he bought this year. No, that’s not a typo; we really have one, and he really did. I have pictures and everything. If you’re ever wondering why I’m so strange and act so oddly, look at my parents! Its not my fault, its my genes!

• Once again, I returned to Claremont, where I thought I would be for the rest of break. But, as it turned out, I found myself, a few days later heading back up north yet again. A very last minute trip was put together for New Years in Tahoe, with Paige, Patty, Andy, Tara, and some of Paige’s business school friends. I have to say, this was one of the best New Year’s that I’ve celebrated, and even better for all the haphazard planning which went into it.
It turned out that Tracey, Kat, and Susan (Davis friends and sister) were driving up north, so once again I hopped in a car for a quality drive up the I-5 and a drop off at yet another lovely train station. Except this train station was literally in the ghetto (Hayward) and was more of a bench next to some train tracks than a station. But I made it onto the Capitol Corridor, and once again alighted in Davis.
This time, a very inebriated Joe and company picked me up, and once again hugs were involved. Had some lovely dim-sum and lots of laughter before I headed over to Paige’s and the next morning departure for Tahoe. After some setbacks (friends who oversleep/don’t pick up their phones) we were on our way to the cabin in the snow. The drive was harrowing, but Paige got us there in one piece, where we proceeded to hang out, nap (okay, so I read as everyone else napped), and get ready for the night to come. Oh, oh! And we played in the snow, because it started an hour after we got there! Tara and I wandered about outside for a while, and had some good times with snow angels and beautiful scenery. After an unorganized game of Scattergories (all I will say is that Jesus can be a role model no matter what letter you’re technically on) and an even worse game of Balderdash (four people, two of which have never played + missing pieces and directions = quite possibly the worst game ever played) we were ready to start ringing in the new year.
And ring in we did. Speaking of ringing, Tara and I also happened to call a goodly number of people, so if you were one of them, sorry. I think my favorite part of the night, however, was after midnight, Tara, Sam and I took a walk outside, and it was quite possibly one of the most beautiful nights I can remember. I wish I was able to capture in on camera, because the sky and scenery was out of the world. The rest of the night was spent on the sofa bed from hell, or as we aptly named it, the “death taco of sleep” because that was what is felt like; a taco that wanted to kill you with its uncomfortableness. The next day was spent sledding and playing in the snow, and then heading back to Davis, where I hung out with some other Davis friends and basically chilled. All in all, it was a wonderful New Year’s, and I’m so glad that circumstances worked out which allowed me to travel up north again, and see some good friends.

Okay, so remember how I said, er typed, that I could get tired at any minute. Well that time is now. So I promise to continue with my adventures… just not right now, as right now I want to curl up in my warm bed- the only place where its warm at all in my house- and try to make up some of the sleep that I’ve lost.

last post of '05

And what a lame post its going to be, as its nearing midnight, and I need to go to bed soon as I'm getting picked up for my trek up north tomorrow morning. (my very spur of the moment, slightly unplanned, but will hopefully provide many good memories trip up north) I have of course packed too much, and I won't use half of the stuff I brought, and will be mad at myself for forgetting something else. But so it goes, right?

What am ambivalous way to end the year.

I have to admit, I'm a total sucker for that train of thought; this is the last time I did this this year, that's the last time I did that. I actually noted to myself that yesterday was the last time that I would take out the trash in 2005. Like I said, I'm a sucker. Admission is the first step... I think.

I think I'll be postmodernly ironic and comment on the year that was when I get back in 2006. Time is, after arbitrary. Baudrillard would be so proud.

Happy New Year my friends!

Increase da peace

Finished!
Finito!
Terminado!
Acabado!
Fini!
Beendet!
Avsluttet!
законченный!














This picture has nothing to do with me finishing papers... I just came across it during the countless hours spent with my laptop lately and thought it was funny. Bceause its the perfect picture- two lovely ladies sharing my (roommate's bed), a beer, and brownie mix. Heaven. Honestly, what else do you need in life?

my favorite chords

my mommy just called to say she knew how hard this week was going to be and that she loved me.

aaawwwwwwwwwww....

i love it when parents surprise you by treating you like you're still their baby, but its on one of the rare occasions that you were actually loooking for that kind of support.

this week is going to be hell, but my mother cares